How to Change a Negative Attitude

You know it’s a problem. You may not want to admit it to your spouse, boss, or siblings. But you are a critic. If there is something negative to be found, you find it. Whatever organization you are part of, work, school, even church, you always seem to know what “they” are doing wrong and you talk like you know better.And the truth is, you don’t really know better. If you were in their shoes, who knows what you’d really do. If you are completely honest with yourself, your "always knowing better" is arrogance. Your being a critic might be a response to envy, insecurity, or perhaps, boredom. But whatever the source, it’s zapping the life out of you and killing your most treasured relationships.That critical, negative attitude is doing no one any good. You aren’t happy. People have started avoiding you (no one wants to hang out with a critic). Your complaininess actually causes you to lose influence…because people start to think, “It’s just how he/she is,” so they stop taking your complaints seriously. And after a while, even the people closest to you would rather not be around you.So why not just admit that the real problem is with you. You’re a fault-finder. You view the world with negativity, and you tend to be judgmental of things other people do or say, even though they may be completely innocent. But your negative attitude is the problem.Once you admit it, you can do something about it. If you can take that critical step, here’s how to make the changes that might just turn you into the happy person you’ve always wanted to be.

• Confess – Confess your criticism and judgmentalism to God as a sin and ask him to forgive you. But then you also need to confess it to some people who are close to you, people who love you, and already know that it’s a problem. This probably includes someone who’s tried to talk with you about it at some point. Ask them to remind you when you slip back into it.
• Imitate – Identify someone who is very different in this area, someone who seems to attract friends and easily encourages others, rather than feeling the need to always critique. This was a huge help to me years ago when I had slipped into a habit of negativity. A friend I admired who always seemed to have a positive attitude became my example. When I couldn’t picture him approaching a situation the way I was, I quickly switched gears and doubled down on my outlook. (Philippians 4:9)
• Encourage – Pay attention to your words. Critical attitudes need the fuel of words and other critics to flourish (Proverbs 26:20). You can kill that negativity by saying words that neutralize your cynicism. Find genuine things to say that are positive and encouraging. Your words affect others, but even more-so, they affect you! So make them positive. (Ephesians 4:29)
• Pray – Ask God to help you practice Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” 

You don’t have to live this way anymore. It might be a lifelong habit, but isn’t it time to put that ugly beast to death? Hasn’t it robbed you of joy long enough? Hasn’t it killed enough relationships? With God’s help, you can whip that stinkin’, critical, arrogant, negative way of thinking and talking.But first, you’ve got to admit it.